Wednesday, October 12, 2005

More on God or the Devil

This is a more entertaining piece on the subject I raised a day or so ago. The bigger question being how the hell would W know if he was speaking to God or the Devil?
Scene: White House, night, not long ago. President Bush present in his most favoritest guns 'n' bunnies pj's. Laura asleep, knocked out by a combination of too much Good Housekeeping and excessive hairspray fumes. Suddenly, a burst of black smoke. A deep, resonant voice speaks:

"Psst! George! God here, taking a break from supervising the well-being of 8 billion troubled souls along with infinite galaxies of unimaginable vastness to speak with you directly one more time because, well, you're special, aren't you, George? Yes, you are! Yes, you are! OK, stop giggling. I have more commands. Get off the damn hobbyhorse, George, and get a pen and a notepad. No, not a crayon. I don't care if blue is your favori -- George! Get a pen! OK? Good. Here we go: "

As you know, I'm not quite what everyone thinks. I am not all benevolence and love and light. In fact, I have a downright dark side, mean and nasty and cunning, and I want you, George, to continue to be my special right-hand man. My special little guy. In fact, you shall help enact my wrath, Dubya. Doesn't that sound fun? "There are three things I love, George: war, revenge and suffering. Oh, and smiting the heathens. OK, four things. And kickboxing. Five things.

There are five things I love, Dubya. You with me? And you and your demon monkeys are enacting the first four admirably, George. Don't be shy, go ahead and tell those Palestinian officials you were commanded by God to "restore peace" in the Middle East by bombing nearly defenseless, pip-squeak Iraq and Afghanistan to smithereens. They love that stuff...
Click the link for the full read - enjoy if you don't piss your pants with anger first.

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