Monday, December 20, 2004

Some miserable mothers stole our holiday reindeer

Here's a true story from my world that took place in the wee hours this AM.

I got up for my AM run, as usual. Popped out the door ready to take to the roads (well, sidewalk really), and I looked immediately left. Low and behold, someone had levered our wiresculpted, light adorned reindeer right off the mantle to which it was posted on the outside of our house. Can you believe it?

Believe it. It had to happen, according to the reckoning of the household residents, some time between 10:30 PM Sunday (last seen) and 6:30 AM Monday (the time I spotted the big hole in our string of lights). No doubt, some good Christian had decided to liberate our wire deer to place her somewhere else.

I can see it now.
Friend: "Hey Sonny, where'd ya get that new deer with lights on it?"

Sonny: "Oh, I just liberated it from some of dem folks up on the hill. They won't miss it."

Friend: "Let's raise our glass (fill in bad beer brand here) and toast Rudolph. She's a beaut!

Sonny: "Yahoo, I'm going tonight to get the other one on the other side of the window. Got to have a matching set!" Want 'ta Come?

Friend: "Shit ya! Slam that (insert favorite shot here), and let's git."

Sonny: "oh, yeah. You got that ladder on your truck still? Let's go get Rudolph a friend."

End scene.

Well, we are going to leave our deer up on the other side of the house. You know, turn the other cheek as it were. Let's hope Santa is delivering coal to one more house this season.


Anonymous said...

Put a BIG sign in your yard (well-lit) that reads:

"Bring Back Tonight or We Take Security Video to Police"

The punks may see the sign, when they look to see how your yard looks now, if they are young. Yeah, I know, they're probably long gone, but...who knows...


windspike said...

One of the more entertaining ideas and thoughts about the loss of our reindeer is that perhaps the one just got antsy, sprouted to life and decided to liberate itself.

Another idea was to move the other remaining deer to the same location to see if the thieves would take that one too. In its current spot, it is very challenging to remove without a ladder.