Thursday, December 23, 2004

From bad to worse

As if the news on the fronts wern't bad enough, I found out last night as I was giving my oldest son a bath and putting him to bed that a friend of mine's youngest daughter passed away (Tuesday). She was three years old.

The doctors are befuddled. They have no clue what happened. All we know right now is that they parents put her to bed with what looked like symptoms of a slight flu on Sunday. They woke up Monday AM and she was not breathing. A 911 rush to the hospital put her on a resperator and she didn't last past Tuesday.

Any parents out there will find this situation beyond horrible. I can't imagine the pain my friends are enduring. I called over there this AM and talked with one of the Grandmothers. She burst into tears as soon as I identified myself. She said, "this is not a good time, they are trying to explain this to her sister." Yes, that's right, their first daughter is about 6 years old. How do you explain that to a sibling?

As I know more I will post updates as comments here. The funeral services will be on Monday. This makes for a very dark Christmas. No doubt, the tree is rife with gifts for her. The family christmas cards have been sent out....In terms of nightmares, I would say this is one that came to life and is beyond the comprehension of anyone who hasn't experienced the same grief.

Words can't comfort. Me, I hug my kids tighter and tell them I love them, with stronger conviction.

4 comments:

windspike said...

I have amended the original posting as I miss-stated originally that it was the oldest daughter who passed away. In fact, it is as the posting now reads, the youngest daughter who died.

More details on the service - it will be held at 2:00 PM on Monday, 27 Dec at a church in their town. I have spoken with a number of other friends that know the family and many are going to make/change plans to be there. It is such a sad occasion. All this around the holiday reinforces for me how hollow the way we celebrate Christmas really is. Exchanging gifts, and for what? So that we might get some in return?

I have said this before, but one of my life philosophies is that the most valuable gift a person can give is that of their time spent well with another - it is the one thing that cannot be taken back.

In getting the details for the service, I spoke with the first friend who let me know, and she said that she was talking with the father via telephone and he couldn't really compose himself enough beyond getting the raw details out. He did say, that last night, as they were sleeping, for no reason that is exlicable, one of the deceased daughter's toys went off. Of course, that set up a whole new round of tears at their home.

Deb said...

I am sorry to hear of this tradgedy. My heart is with all who are affected by the loss of this dear child.

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless."--Mother Teresa

Perhaps in time the kindnesses of others may be of some comfort to those in pain. I cannot fathom this nightmare; but I do know we need each other. We always have and we always will regardless of race, religion, or culture. The shared sufferings of life transcend all else. Peace,
deb

windspike said...

The information is finally a matter of public record. I am posting the link to the obituary so you can make decisions about memorializing my friend's daughter. I think it most important that we do things as her father suggests - "be sure to hug your kids tightly."

I will be going to the service tomorrow and will let you all know via comment if I have the will to post about it.

Here's the link: http://www.legacy.com/InsideBayArea/LegacySubPage2.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonID=2958946

windspike said...

Yesterday afternoon was the funeral for the daughter of my friends. This was one of the saddest afternoons I have ever spent. No words really can describe the loss. Perhaps four words will capture the experience from my perspective:

Broken Hearts, Strong Family.

Greg, the father, said to me as I hugged him, I hope you never have to experience this. Be sure to hug your kids.

I said, You better believe it we do - tightly. You are a stronger man than me, you are a stronger man than me. And we wept.

All would do well to remember,"That which does not kill you makes you stronger."