When Will the Celebrities Get Fiscally Spanked Like The Rest of Us?

The economic downturn is forcing America's households to learn a tough lesson: how to fend for themselves.

Sales of starter sewing kits have shot up by 30 percent at Wal-Mart as families forgo the tailor. Landscaping companies have suffered a 7 percent drop in revenue over the past year. Procter & Gamble said that it has noticed more questions from customers about how to dye their hair at home to match salon coloring.

The recession has had a powerful effect on the American state of mind. A Washington Post-ABC News poll released yesterday shows Americans have grown increasingly insecure about their finances since mid-September, as fears about making mortgage payments have spread and more believe the economy is in a long-term, serious decline.

These feelings have helped set off a change in behavior so pronounced marketers and businesses have coined a name for it. They call it "insourcing": doing yourself what you once gladly paid others to do.

We don't need a new term for what Americans knew how to do and have been doing since the dawn of the Nation. We've all be pulling ourselves up by our own boot straps for a great long while. Trouble is when you don't have any bootstraps or your boots are stolen by the greedy sonsofbitches who are treating themselves to fancy reward holidays in the over abundant and opulent swank hotels of Vegas or elsewhere.

I don't know about you, but I'm Sure Happy It's Thursday (acronym is self explanatory). Just some quick questions for today. Sure, we know the average schmo is getting spanked economically. When does the economic crisis hit our celebrities? I would love to see Brad or Angelina up to their elbows in excrement dredging the plumbing in their own home. Or is that a sight unfit for those who gawk at celebrities in fancy gowns strolling nonchalantly down red carpets.

I just heard a report about Tiger Woods coming back to the golf gambit after reconstructive surgery on his knee. Do you think this down turn will hurt his bottom line? What about the A-Roids of baseball? Will they get less per ball caught, bat swung, ball pitched, or base stolen? Certainly, the celebrities might do well to take it down a peg when commanding multimillion dollar salaries so that perhaps we could turn back the price nuttiness on theater tickets or stadium seats. I remember when movies cost 99c - and if you saved enough pennies you found in the street, you could splurge for the premier of Star Wars or Jaws. These days it costs 20 bucks just to get a whiff of the popcorn.

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